Generous Gathering

Social norms, diplomatic exclusion and experiences that flourish

Canberra, February 2019

Hello reading companions,

I remember the first time I cast my eyes over a thoughtfully prepared table.

I was a rather poor postgraduate student—the sight of linen napkins, candlesticks and delicate vegetables was almost too much beauty for my heart to handle. I had been invited to a summer garden gathering, celebrating two women and two magical books. Emiko Davies had just published Tortellini at Midnight, and Annabelle Hickson was launching A Tree in the House. There were billowing floral arrangements and truly delicious snacks, but the most captivating part was how a charming soirée brought a sense of togetherness among people who loved flowers and food. It started my love affair with suppers, and connecting with like-minded folks who make experiences flourish. When I think back to the occasion, I recall a moment in time when cultural anthropology started sneaking out of research pages and into everyday questions.

What do people need to live well? What do people think about when they consider rituals? What is the difference between work and leisure? Why do we like to share similar thoughts, beliefs and values? How do people interact with their communities? How do ideas, practices or relationships affect our interpretations of what it means to be human?

I’ve discovered these questions are somewhat of a key to quiet revelations. They offer awareness of group dynamics, and the (often strange) rules we adhere to. So what is the trick to finding meaning in togetherness? What distinguishes a lacklustre gathering from a generous one?